Dorito Texting (on hiatus)
by Ruinfall
Summary: Dipper and various other characters text back and forth with our favorite psychotic Dorito, who is, unfortunately, trying to make friends. At least he's trying, right? [Bill Cipher Redemption-AU] [BillDip Friendshipping] [Post-Weirdmageddon]
1. (M&D) Incoming Call: A Big Mistake

Gravity Falls: Dorito Texting

* * *

(Mabel & Dipper)

~Incoming Call~

A Big Mistake

* * *

_||[You have an incoming call]||_

_*Ring ring ring* *Ring ring ring*_

_*Click*_

"Yellow?"

"Mabel! Mabel, it's me, Dipper! I know that you're at a sleepover, but I need your help! I've made a HUGE mistake."

-Groan- "Dipper, it's 3:45 in the morning. What did you do this time? It better not be zombies again..."

"No, it's not zombies."

"Then what is it?"

"Okay. You how Bill has been complaining about not being able to keep in contact with everyone, right?"

"Yeah? What of it?"

"I may have remedied the situation."

"And that's good, right?"

"No!"

"What? Why?"

"He won't stop Mabel! He just. Won't. _Stop!"_

"Stop what?!"

"Calling me. Texting me. Everything!"

...

"Umm, okay? How did he even- wait, don't tell me. You gave him a _cellphone."_

-Cries hysterically-_ "Yes!"_

...

-Sigh- "What am I going to do with you..."


	2. (B&D&M) Message 1: Devil

AN :Thank you to all those who have already reviewed/favorited/followed Dorito Texting! You guys are awesome!

* * *

(Bill & Dipper & Mabel)

~Messege 1~

Devil

* * *

**Bill Cipher**

_1:16 AM_

-[[ PINETREE ]]

-[[ PINETREE ]]

-[[ PINETREE ]]

-[[ HEY PINETREE ]]

-[[ PINETREE ]]

* * *

_1:18 AM_

-[[ I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS PINETREE ]]

-[[ RESPOND BACK TO ME ]

-[[ HEY GET BACK HERE AND TALK TO ME! ]]

* * *

_1:19 AM_

-[[ PINETREEEE ]]

-[[ TALK TO ME PINETREEEEEEEEEEE ]]

* * *

_1:21 AM_

-[[ I'M SOOO BOOOOOOOOOORED ]]

-[[ PINETREEEE ]]

* * *

_1:29 AM_

-[[ PINETREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ]]

-[[ YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO RESPOND BACK TO ME AT POINT KID. DREAM DEMONS DON'T NEED SLEEP. I CAN DO THIS ALLLL NIGHT. ]]

* * *

_2:11 AM_

-[[ I DON'T WANT TO SET THE WORLD ON FIREEE

I JUST WANT TO START A FLAME IN YOUR HEART ]]

* * *

_4:57 AM_

-[[ PINETREE WHY DOES FEZ'S RADIOACTIVE BOX TASTE LIKE SALT AND BROKEN DREAMS? ]]

* * *

_5:01 AM_

-[[ PINETREEEEEEE ]]

* * *

_5:08 AM_

-[[ I THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES ]]

* * *

**Dipper and Mabel**

_7:40 AM_

-[[ Mabel… ]]

[[ Dip? What u doing up this early? ]]-

-[[ Nevermind all that. I need you to do something for me. ]]

[[ Uh ok what? ]]-

-[[ Remind me to push Grunkle Ford into the bottomless pit next to we see him. ]]

-[[ We should have killed bill when we had the chance. ]]

[[ O_o wut ]]-

[[ Why? ]]-

-[[ He's the devil ]]


	3. (B&SF) Message 2: Beep Beep

AN: Beep Boop here is the next update!

* * *

(Bill and Stanford)

~Message 2~

Beep Beep

* * *

_12:07 PM_

-[[ HEY SIXERRR ]]

-[[ GUESS WHO? ]]

[[ Bill?! ]]-

[[ How the hell did you get this number?! ]]-

-[[ PINETREE. HE GAVE ME ONE OF YOUR SMALL HUMAN CHATTY BOXES! ]]

[[ It's called a cellphone. ]]-

-[[ DETAILS DETAILS ]]

-[[ HEY LOOK WHAT I CAN DO ]]

-[[ :D ]]

-[[ I MADE A FACE! ]]

[[ Bill, why are you even messaging me? ]]-

-[[ WELL PINETREE TOLD ME TO STOP TEXTING HIM AND THEN THREATENED TO DRENCH ME IN SOMETHING CALLED NACHO CHEESE AND TAPE ME TO THE CEILING. WHAT IS NACHO CHEESE SIXER? ]]

[[ It's a type of cheese commonly used to dip nacho chips in. ]]-

-[[ WHAT ARE NACHO CHIPS? ]]

[[ Bill, what's wrong with you? Shouldn't you know all this? ]]-

-[[ WELL USUALLY I WOULD. UNFORTUNATELY THOUGH YOU SEALED AWAY ALL MY POWERS AND THAT IS INCLUDING MY ALL SEEING EYE. AT THIS POINT ALL I AM IS A FLOATING TRIANGLE. A POOR EXCUSE OF A DEMON. I AM BUT A SHADOW OF THE NIGHTMARE KING I ONCE WAS THANKS TO YOU. ]]

[[ Look, Bill, I am aware of the fact that you don't like this, but it had to be done. We just can't have you continuing to run around and make Deals like you were before. ]]-

-[[ WHO SAID I WAS GOING TO BE MAKING DEALS? ]]

[[ Bill. You are a demon. Do we really need to have this conversation again? ]]-

-[[ HMMMM I DON'T KNOW. CAN WE? ]]

[[ Bill ]]-

-[[ YES THATS MY NAME ISN'T IT? ]]

[[ Bill I swear to God. ]]-

-[[ YOUR GOD ISN'T HERE RIGHT NOW. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP. ]]

((Image sent))

[[ ... ]]-

[[ What? ]]-

[[ Why did you just send me a photo of yourself in a sheep costume? ]]-

-[[ BECAUSE ]]

-[[ BEEP BEEP IM A SHEEP ]]

-[[ BITCH ]]

[[ Bill! ]]-


End file.
